The Heart Betrays
by CeceVolume
Summary: Both Damon's and Elena's feelings before/during the kiss in 3x19. For Heaven's Gonna Wait Hell Ain't.


**Heaven's Gonna Wait Hell Ain't** _asked me for this particular oneshot. I hope this is to your liking, love!_  
I don't know if you're a big Delena fan but one thing that I would like to see/read, and probably one of the most challenging thing to write would be on Damon's and Elena's thoughts concerning their kiss in 3x19. I by that I mean: before and during the kiss and after their fight. If you're not such a big fan, Jeremy's thoughts on the situation would be awesome as well.  
_So, here goes. Enjoy!_

The Heart Betrays

Standing out in the wind, Elena tried to calm herself. What else was she to do? She had tried to convince herself that this was because of the stress they'd both been under since Stefan had left. It had sounded so logical in her mind before they'd come for her brother; Damon was the one that had been there for her in one of the hardest times of her life. Of course she would grow closer to him, would develop these feelings for him.

It was only natural.

But she couldn't lie to herself forever. What she felt for Damon went much deeper than she had ever let herself believe. He was her best friend, her confidant, the one person she counted on no matter what the situation. He was the one that had been her shoulder to cry on for the summer, the one that made everything seem almost good again.

She hated that he never gave her a choice, would sooner have her—their—friends die than her. She hated all the things that he had done since his return to Mystic Falls, the games and the manipulations. She hated that he always called her out when a plan didn't make sense, that he wouldn't let her do things her way.

Yet, God, she loved him.

It was the first time she had ever let herself say the words, even to herself. She was in love with Damon. Though she had vowed so many times that she wasn't Katherine, she was no better. The brothers would have been so much better off without the Petrova women that had flounced through their lives.

When she felt him behind her, his presence palpable without a word spoken between them, she begged him not to say anything. Silently, she pleaded with him to give her a moment alone, to let her gain control before anything else happened between them.

"Elena," he called softly.

And she was lost.

-.-.-.-.-

"Elena," Damon called softly after her.

He knew he shouldn't. He knew that he should stop himself from playing through what had just happened on the bed. He knew that he should be the one to push her away, to stop them from doing something they—she—would end up regretting.

But when she flew at him, throwing herself into his arms and wrapping them tightly around him to pull him closer, he couldn't think about all those pesky reasons that he should stop them. When her lips fused with his, his brain went completely blank. When her slender fingers tightened, pulling him closer, all he could comprehend was how perfect she felt there, how much he had longed for this moment.

The love he always tried to hide from others exploded within him and he couldn't hold himself back. He had to have more of her.

He _deserved_ more of her!

He had waited one hundred and forty-seven years for a woman that had wanted his brother. He'd tried his damnedest to pull his brother from the fire. When Stefan had run off with Klaus to fulfill a selfless promise to save _Damon_, the elder Salvatore hadn't taken advantage of the girl—woman—that had been left behind. He'd loved her, wanted nothing more than to protect her, and had stayed close to do so, knowing that it would always be Stefan.

Damnit, this was his due! He deserved the love of this woman! It might be the most selfish thing he would ever do, but he would have it. He would taste it, even if it was only this once. He would know what it meant to be loved as he loved.

And it was _consuming_. He had once said it to her that _she_ wanted a love like that. But it was him. He wanted a love that would consume them both, send them spiraling down into that passionate, compulsive madness until nothing mattered but the two of them. He would give her that passion.

At the end of the day, he knew it was _all_ he could give her.

And when Jeremy interrupted them, when Elena pulled out of his arms guiltily, he didn't doubt that this would be the last time that he got to feel her love for him. He knew that it would always be Stefan, that she would want to spend whatever life she was given with the other Salvatore.

So he would hold on to that perfect moment and cherish it as precious things were supposed to be cherished.


End file.
